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DON'T BE AFRAID TO TAKE A STAND
On page 47 of Love and Logic's Journal Collection, Dr. Foster Cline writes, "It's sad to see the number of parents who don't take a stand with their children. They fear their children will see them as mean, unreasonable, or dictatorial. Some actually fear their children will be ruined in some way if they take a firm stand about behavior."
All of my experience says that the opposite is true. Parents who will not take a stand on behavior most often raise children who feel contempt for their folks.
Foster writes that it doesn't hurt a child in any way when a parent speaks in a firm voice. However, it is important to make sure your voice sounds firm, not angry.
Just as animals all have a way of puffing themselves up to act more ferocious when they are afraid, humans often get angry to appear stronger when they fear a loss of control.
Kids have an innate ability to sense this, seeing us as being mean and ineffective.
A firm voice saying, "Ok, guys. Take it somewhere else. You can come back when there is no bickering!" is far more effective than, "What is the matter with you. This is making me so angry!"
Find more in the Love and Logic Tenth Anniversary Journal Collection.
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